February 2015 by Eva Mondor
“If you don’t transform your suffering you will transmit it”
-Richard Rohr
Why are we so scared to change, to start, to assert, to decide, to explore or try something new? Why do we contemplate all of the details of what may go wrong before imagining all the awesome possibilities? Is it because we fear failing? or is it because we fear being wrong in the eyes of another person? Either way we often approach life expecting to be judged or betrayed and regrettably we hide our precious innocence from one another.
We all carry seeds of greatness within our innate innocence, they are gifts to be shared, but instead of embracing and living out our dreams we resist and safely pack them away deep inside. We sink into spaces of self-doubt and devalue any idea, dream or desire that we have budding inside of us. And out of a sense of shame we withdraw instead of taking a chance to stand in our own glory and live from the yearnings of our heart. In truth, you will risk more “playing it safe” staying right where you are instead of stepping out and setting your sights ahead.
We all come into this life with a “knowing” or a “yearning “ for life’s adventure. As an infant we do not intellectually know how to grow. It is through our innate longing to experience life that we learn to explore and expand. But as we age we loose this innocent wonder as we get caught up in our struggles, superficialities, offenses and insecurities. For that reason, many of us loose touch with our desire for something more only to settle for where we are or where someone else wants us to be. But if you courageously reach within, you will discover that there is always something inside of you that “knows” and it will nudge and patiently guide you towards your truth and goodness. As songwriter Paul Williams said “ I don’t know how to do this but something inside of me does”
When you allow yourself to change, through an experience, it’s like living the birth and death cycle. In order to birth into a new version of your life you must let go of the present construct and allow the experience to reshape a part of your life. As Joseph Campbell once said “We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” Your true self expands through all of your life experiences. Often the ones, where you are thrust involuntarily into a change, will provide the greatest opportunity for you to live from a more expanded version of yourself. Which is the authentic version you were meant to be, instead of the false version that you have created or allowed others to create for you.
People will project onto to you all kinds of things that are not necessarily true. They will either think that you are more than you are or less than you are. But when you give yourself the permission to be seen in the world independent of the appraisal and validation you give yourself the chance to experience life in the most authentic and fulfilling way, you live in union with the desires of your heart instead of in alignment with your fears and judgments.
Ask yourself “who am apart from my roles, my success, my physical beauty, my thoughts, my desires or longings?” Then reassure yourself “I am an ordinary imperfect human and have been given extraordinary gifts to discover and use.” Most importantly, be humble in your pursuits, loving in your efforts, don’t take yourself so seriously or life so personally, lighten up and above all get better at failing and being wrong because life is all about exploring, experimenting and giving it your best.