“A grateful heart is a beginning of greatness. It is an expression of humility. It is a foundation for the development of such virtues as prayer, faith, courage, contentment, happiness, love, and well-being.” -James E. Faust
Mental Health is not about the absence or reduction of depression and anxiety. It’s not defined by never having a bad day or ever feeling angry and getting upset. It’s simply about believing in our ability to meet life’s inevitable challenges. With a sense of well-being, we can hold our anxiety and disappointment against the backdrop of life’s goodness instead of launching into inconsolable states of fear, frustration or heartache.
And when we understand that our problems are a moment in time and not the whole of our life, we can remain engaged in our lives while remaining balanced, even when the seas get rough.
The question is, how do we achieve or even maintain well being when we are often stuck and emotionally depleted by thoughts of our past offenses or distracted by the fears and doubts of our future? The answer is, emotional prosperity. I regard emotional prosperity as our ability to identify, absorb and integrate pleasant moments. When you intentionally and consistently take in good moments it builds up pleasant or positive experiences in your emotional bank account. Then when faced with difficult emotions you have inner resources to draw from that help shift you from a negative state into a more positive state. It’s not that you are suppressing or dismissing your feelings it’s that you are holding the difficult feelings in the context of a more loving and safe place within you. You now have the keys to your own happiness!
For example, abundance of anything is created by gradually and consistently doing something over a period of time. So if someone wants to create an abundant savings account they need to make consistent deposits of money into the account and overtime financial abundance is created. If someone wants to improve their physical health they don’t eat one piece of fruit or vegetable and viola’ they are healthy. It takes a steady diet of eating clean, fresh fruits and vegetables and then, over time health and vitality occur in the body. The same theory applies for mental well being. We need a steady diet of having and noticing positive pleasurable experiences to develop the inner resources needed to prevent us from getting caught up in negative emotions.
To achieve emotional prosperity you’ll need to deposit emotional currency like: confidence, compassion, courage, creativity, connectedness, curiosity, passion, peace, beauty and gratitude into your emotional savings account. These deposits are made by noticing and taking in the good around you no matter how small or big. Author Rick Hanson PhD, developed H.E.A.L, a systematic technique, that when used can help shift your focus from the negative to being able to notice and take in the good around you. Have: Notice when some kind of positive emotional experience is occurring. Enrich: Think about that positive moment a little bit and appreciate it. For example, if somebody is kind to you enjoy it and then acknowledge other moments of kindness in your life. Absorb: Spend time focusing and really savoring the pleasant experience. Link: When you are having the pleasurable experience bring to mind something, which has been difficult for you, and notice that problem against the backdrop of the current positive experience.
Overtime, with practice, these 4 steps become second nature and only take a moment to accomplish. This process can exponentially increase your emotional prosperity allowing you to face life with a more joyful and loving heart.
Originally published in January 2015 in the Romeo Observer.